this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize