I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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