It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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