im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize