We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize