I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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