I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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