I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize