Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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