I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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