Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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