Your dad touched me again.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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