toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize