If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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