I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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