just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
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Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a dumb baby whore.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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