i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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