so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
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somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
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we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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