it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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