you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
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i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
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Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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