I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
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Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
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well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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