does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize