I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize