He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
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it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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