Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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