She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
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he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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