So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
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He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
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That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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