Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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