My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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