3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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