Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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