This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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