remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize