is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize