He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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