I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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