is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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