OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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