my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
PANTIES FOUND
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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