i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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