When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize