I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize