But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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