Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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