I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better after having sex.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize