College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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