; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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