I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize