ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
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