so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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